I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
