HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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