This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
