Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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