My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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