the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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