well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
