I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm like, not good at living.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
