Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize