Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize