Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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