We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
