I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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