I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
