Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
