you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
