If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
