Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
