She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
