she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
