dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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