grandma shit on top of the toilet
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
