my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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