I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
