I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
