when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm having to shit out rocks
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
