youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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