have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
