So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
