Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
