i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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