I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
