Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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