can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
