he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
