I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize