we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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