I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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