The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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