Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize