i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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