I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
