I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize