listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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