I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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