What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
