I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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