dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
