I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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