Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
