you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
