what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
