Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
