My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
