he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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