Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
