i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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