you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
