Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Houston, we have a squirter
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
