So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
