his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
