do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
