Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
